Autobiography of Mark Twain: I’ve been reading this one for months now, though I may have entirely skipped it during one or two of those months. My jaw dropped when I saw just how large the hardcover version was at Costco. Nine hundred-plus pages just doesn’t have the same impact when you see it at the bottom of the Nook screen. I’ve trudged through more than 200 pages of introductory material and start-stop fragments from Clemens’s earlier attempts at an autobiography and still haven’t reached the beginning of part one of the actual text he wanted published. Yes, part one — they’re coming out with a second volume of this monster sometime later.

Now, I enjoy Mark Twain’s writing. When he’s on his game, he’s an engaging, amusing rascal with a message wrapped in easy-to-swallow satire. However, a lot of what I’ve read so far is scholarly pontificating on his life and writings mixed with small snippets of the genuine article. And some of said snippets cut off mid-story (because Samuel Clemens never intended to publish them as-is), making it hard to slip into this narrative.

I’d recommend to anyone picking up this book that you start reading from Clemens’s page one rather than the editors’. Maybe you will make it farther than I have in much less time. Page 245 of 965.

Vamps and the City: I just started this sequel to How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire. I can’t help myself: Those free Nook books suck me in and even when I think the storytelling or language isn’t much to brag about, it takes a while before it’s bad enough for me to lose interest in the characters. I’ve watched so many terrible television shows for the same reason, though I’ve become better at realizing when my frustration level with a program is too high to make the experience worthwhile. On the other hand, sometimes the author improves the second time around, as was the case with The Perfect Shot, part of another series kicked off with a free Nook selection. Page 188 of 400.

Living Vegetarian for Dummies and Living Vegan for Dummies: I actually have finished reading (or in the second one’s case, skimming) both of these, but I will be going back through them shortly to take notes on the most valuable tidbits (mostly recipes). The titles sound similar, and structurally, the books are mirror images of each other (hence the skimming). They both aim to get you to not only give up meat but also to substantially reduce or eliminate dairy, eggs, and other animal products. However, reading one is like taking a class on healthy nutrition basics and the other is like visiting a restaurant with free refills on Kool-Aid. If you’re skeptical, try the first, written by a registered dietician. If you’re a true believer — well, I doubt you’ll be approaching the holistic health educator’s medical and scientific claims with a grain of salt, but I’d suggest trying. Page 284 of 284 and page 334 of 334.

Books I Expect to Read: I have a library hold request for The Magician, the sequel to The Alchemyst, so I’ll start that one once I hit the top of the list. I’m thinking of reading the book Wicked Lovely, which is by last month’s featured author on the Nook blog. It’s also a young adult book, I believe, but that doesn’t always indicate an oversimplified story. After all, the Harry Potter series is supposed to be children’s literature. I took a class for my graduate degree on children’s literature, and if written by an excellent author, even a picture book has plenty to offer for adults. You just have to look beyond all the board books and ghostwritten series.

I should make another stab at Mark Twain. I also want to at least read preview chapters of two Ancient Egypt-themed books, Nefertiti and the bestselling Cleopatra: A Life.

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